


Lost in the tide

by tenmillionotters



Category: Bloodborne (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 15:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17124227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: Why could they never be the same again…? Once that his love for Viola had lost its idealistic character he began to miss Henryk. He loved both of them, he loved both of his children but he noticed that something crucial was missing. Something that he wanted back in his life at all costs…… but he wouldn’t get it back. Henryk wasn’t a plaything, his love was nothing to push and pull when it felt convenient. That’s not how it worked. Distance was the only thing that held them together. Distance was the only thing that kept his heart from breaking.





	Lost in the tide

It was a cold feeling. Something that slowly crept closer, something he pushed aside when he was happy, so happy that he thought he didn’t need to worry about anything in the world. So happy that he didn’t want to see Henryk’s pain because it was inconvenient to him.

Why wouldn’t he be happy for him? No, he _had_ to be happy for him. Wasn’t that how it worked? When you loved someone, their happiness was what mattered most. 

But didn’t it go both ways? Of course Henryk was happy for Gascoigne, but at the same time it hurt, it hurt so bad that it was numbing. It felt like all of the sudden he pushed aside all the cold nights that they had spent curled up in each other, grunting and laughing when his elbow hit the other’s rib cage because he was holding him so tightly. 

Love was selfless, that much he knew, but love could also be so incredibly selfish, that much he learned when Gascoigne began to prioritise Viola above everything else. It hurt. Would it have hurt less if he would have been honest upfront? Probably. 

Honest about what? Their relationship had never needed any labels, the transitions were too smooth, had they ever even been a couple? Of course he thought fondly of all the times that they exchanged more just body heat in cold and lonely nights, but he had never loved him like he loved Viola. Not in the way that he wanted to settle down and have a family with. 

Viola had changed his life in ways that he had never expected it to be changed; she became his wife, had his children, he loved her. In more ways than one. 

Was the love for a woman, a mother and wife really all he knew? Love was more versatile than that. Henryk knew it better than anyone else. He had loved Gascoigne in more than one way. As a friend, as his best friend, his hunting partner, with all he had. 

But everything changed when he held Gascoigne’s first child in his arms. Looking at this little life they had created, he knew that there was no space for his desires anymore, none for his longings. So he rose his glass in their honour, he poured it on the pavement and moved on. 

Shouldn’t a child be something to be happy about? Of course he loved his children, but when Henryk finally made peace with the fact that they’d never be the same, Gascoigne felt as if he had rammed one of his beloved knifes right into his heart. 

Why could they never be the same again…? Once that his love for Viola had lost its idealistic character he began to miss Henryk. He loved both of them, he loved both of his children but he noticed that something crucial was missing. Something that he wanted back in his life at all costs… 

… but he wouldn’t get it back. Henryk wasn’t a plaything, his love was nothing to push and pull when it felt convenient. That’s not how it worked. Distance was the only thing that held them together. Distance was the only thing that kept his heart from breaking. 

And the same applied to Viola. Gascoigne’s love was selfish, it was like an all consuming flame. It was pushing her away, it pushed her away the moment she realised that their union had hurt someone she loved so dearly, so deeply. 

Henryk would never blame her. He loved her all the same. 

And in the midst of it all was Gascoigne who still didn’t understand the impact his actions had on all of them. Regardless, slowly but steady, the noise in his head began to confuse and consume him more and more. Was it guilt? Was it longing? He just wanted everything to be the way it was when all of them were happy. 

Were they really happy? Henryk would laugh, there was a time when he was happy. The time when Gascoigne’s selfish wishes had been his own, but then they had to separate in order to keep existing. 

Wasn’t it painfully ironic? Gascoigne couldn’t help but laugh, to die in the same place in which he had lost Viola, he felt his own life slowly fade and even in his last moments, his selfishness knew no bounds, as he dared to beg them for forgives. Henryk, Viola, his daughters… 

How selfish Gascoigne had been, even until the very end, he was a selfish man. How dare he die without Henryk by his side? It was cruel to leave him alone with his grief, it was selfish to make him face a life without the man he had loved for so long. 

The distance between them closed finally, it closed when they were laid to rest in the same place. Maybe it was meant to end like this all along. Between those who had lost what was dearest to them years before them.


End file.
